childhood, ii
there was also a boy, called nicholas or something like that. he was older than me. he used that advantage to a point, because at that age one or two years make a huge difference. he would lie to me a lot. he told me that he could see through the packages under the christmas tree. he had designed a device to do so. he knew which star wars toys he was going to get for christmas. i envied him alot of this quality, as it was an advantage. the dominating power of adults feels like god, at that point in life.
then there was a girl, i do not remember her name. we met at the playground, i remember the time we decided to become friends, swinging in the air. people would tease us for being together, and ask if i had a girlfriend, which i hated, because i didnt want a girlfriend.
sometimes we would visit friends of my parents, who were photographers. they had a daughter my age. we would play while her parents talked. we would go into her room and free from the adults, she would invite me into her closet. we would close it and she would give me a flashlight. then she took off her underpants and let me look with the flashlight. then she would do the same to me. i still remember the sight, so pink, naked and weird to look at.
then we would play in her room but she would keep her pants off.
i'd sometimes have fantasies of her while i was growing up.
i remember california as a sunny dreamland. i don't recall it ever raining. i was in a school for foreign kids.
i was an energetic kid. although i was mostly quiet, liked to doodle by myself. its a thing i noticed when i started working with children, much later, that out of about 50 screaming kids, there would be like 2 shy little kids who would just be quiet and play by themselves all the time. when i was working in the summer course for kids, there was one girl who just came and held my hand the whole time. she would be my secret friend.
the americans are people who are generous of compliments. So there i would get a lot of attention. I was costantly drawing and writing stories. i think the decision to make art my life came that early on, it was just to be focused by time.
then there was a girl, i do not remember her name. we met at the playground, i remember the time we decided to become friends, swinging in the air. people would tease us for being together, and ask if i had a girlfriend, which i hated, because i didnt want a girlfriend.
sometimes we would visit friends of my parents, who were photographers. they had a daughter my age. we would play while her parents talked. we would go into her room and free from the adults, she would invite me into her closet. we would close it and she would give me a flashlight. then she took off her underpants and let me look with the flashlight. then she would do the same to me. i still remember the sight, so pink, naked and weird to look at.
then we would play in her room but she would keep her pants off.
i'd sometimes have fantasies of her while i was growing up.
i remember california as a sunny dreamland. i don't recall it ever raining. i was in a school for foreign kids.
i was an energetic kid. although i was mostly quiet, liked to doodle by myself. its a thing i noticed when i started working with children, much later, that out of about 50 screaming kids, there would be like 2 shy little kids who would just be quiet and play by themselves all the time. when i was working in the summer course for kids, there was one girl who just came and held my hand the whole time. she would be my secret friend.
the americans are people who are generous of compliments. So there i would get a lot of attention. I was costantly drawing and writing stories. i think the decision to make art my life came that early on, it was just to be focused by time.
posted by hallvardur at 1:24 AM
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