me small

me small
Originally uploaded by hallfredinn.

good times

DSC03806.JPG
Originally uploaded by hallfredinn.

she gave me a kaleidoscope to make up for her absence. the kaleidoscope turns ordinary realities into a maze of new possibillities. this vision is what we lack always. we only have the now. and that offers endless possibillities. but you can't see them when you have your head down.

greetings to bella by barlight. thanks. amazing that someone actually reads this. well anyway, i went to see blonde redhead on monday in this old cinema in reykjavik called austurbaejarbio. i was actually quite star struck by then, as they had come to a show on saturday which a bulgarian folkband i'm playing in was playing. of course they just stood there and we stared at them awe struck. but on monday there were two bands warming up, skuli sverrissons band and slowblow. When Blonde finally came to play, the tension had gotten to build a bit. Kazu stormed on stage wearing a white miniskirt, and the twins beside her, black clad with a touch of grey. i was bewildered by how amazing kazu looked so that was kind of enough for the first few songs. After i'd gotten over the shock, i noticed how much more aggressive they are live than on theyre albums. Even with the computer sequencing behind them, their playing still had this kind of noisy swagger to it. Theres something very nihilistic about Blondes music, there is a touch of bad luck that weaves itself through everything. They tore through many of their best songs, (although i must say i missed hated because of great qualities, which is my personal favourite), and ended in a noisewall of guitars and heavy drums. skuli sverrisson played bass in about half the songs, but else hid behind his amplifier. as a coda they played magic mountain which kazu was still learning to play on her clavinet. i was surprised by how much she used the clavinet, which is a nice instument. they are a ridicuclously good band, and i hope they take time to come here again.

the vault. the filthy smell as vile condemned bodies smash together in the pigsty of blood, semen and puke.
i am alone as i crash into theyre bodies all smeared with one anothers shit.
i am feeling quite well today.
where is my brain. not a chance not a chance. insanity.
in my life, i find the suggestion to be true that we live and die many times. already i find myself to have gone through this cycle at least twice. to have built up my "perfect" life only to see it be shattered in the ground a short time later. the wheel of fortune lifting us up to heights of happiness only to smash us down again. simple things are all we need. friendship and love, these things come practically for free, i wonder why it takes so long for them to settle into place. who knows. i havent found for the last several years anything to come in place with what went before. that is, on the topic of love. i had found what i thought was "real". and lost it. now all that i can feel is the void, the lack of what went before. if i ever am to get out i can only go backwards through the puzzle. if what i thought was real was in fact, why did it crumble so easily? a space of a few months, so easily wasted. a binge of happiness followed by weariness. i have spent longer time mourning for what i have lost than the whole thing ever lasted.
we were stupid enough to think we were invulnerable. maybe our relationship wasnt as strong as we thought it was. maybe it wasnt as supernaturally perfect.
i linger on with the memory in the back of my head. it is possible only to move on by not moving on. the wait continues.

me

me
Originally uploaded by hallfredinn.

this is a photo of me

hello

as my icelandic letters are not working at the moment, this will be posted in english. whatever, nobody will read it anyway. i am hallvardur asgeirsson from Reykjavik, Iceland. I like coffee, music, coffee, music. I play in a band of Icelandic outcasts called Likn. No one is actually normal in it, but we get along well. I study composition at the Art Academy here. But mostly i like to play rock, so its ok. Its a good excuse for not having a day job. A good way to postpone that problem. Some day I will teach little children in a music school in Grindavík or something. I will fill their little heads with insane ideas and misconceptions of the world. I was born in 1976, on the 25th of August. I am single. Please kill me. Today i am also hung over which means i start doing silly shit, like this. Tonight i am going to a Blonde Redhead concert, as they are playing in Austurbaejarbíó. oh well.